Come clean

Come Clean

I woke up again this morning around 4am and spent the morning troubled and in anguish. A deep sorrow permeates my soul. I have been constantly praying for the LORD to fill me to overflowing with His Holy Spirit. I continually ask for the Holy Spirit to come upon me and empower me to do all the LORD desires. I still struggle and am not at peace so I continue to pray and ask the LORD, knowing that He will hear and answer my prayers.

“Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.”‭‭Mark‬ ‭11:24‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

“If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!””‭‭Luke‬ ‭11:13‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

In my distress and lack of rest, I decide to again listen to the Psalms as sung by the Sons of Korah. The lyrics keep playing in my spirit as I search to find the right one to listen to. I start with Psalm 34:

“The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit.”‭‭Psalms‬ ‭34:18‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

The words keep repeating in my soul: a broken spirit and a contrite heart. I realize that is what I am feeling and the Holy Spirit is making intercession on my behalf. I grieve over my sins and constantly confess them to the LORD and ask for forgiveness, but I have been missing something. I go on to listen to Psalm 51, not realizing that it is the key and what I am missing, but the Holy Spirit is leading and directing me. As I listen to the lyrics of Psalm 51 over and over, I agree with the words that David wrote:

“Have mercy upon me, O God, According to Your lovingkindness; According to the multitude of Your tender mercies, Blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, And cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions, And my sin is always before me. Against You, You only, have I sinned, And done this evil in Your sight— That You may be found just when You speak, And blameless when You judge. Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.”‭‭Psalms‬ ‭51:1-4, 7‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

I also realize that for days on end I have been praying 10-12:

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Your presence, And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.”‭‭Psalms‬ ‭51:10-12‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

I take a break from listening and open Facebook and see a post in a Remnant Christian group by a dear sister in Christ who is being persecuted terribly in the U.K. As I read her words, something she wrote is illuminated by the Holy Spirit: she has been fasting and praying “with repentance and tears a long time” and then it happened, she was baptized (empowered) in the Holy Spirit and her “besetting sin was gone.” I let that sink in. I realized exactly what the Holy Spirit was helping me understand. He wanted me to specifically pray and ask the LORD, according to His righteousness, lovingkindness and tender mercy, to ask for Him to cleanse me from my own besetting sin in order that I can be filled to overflowing with the Holy Spirit and for Him to come upon me in power for the work of service set before me.

I again acknowledge and agree with the LORD that what He is showing me it is right and that I understand that is what He wants for me. I then look up the meaning of besetting as defined by Wordnik:


  1. Constantly troubling or attacking.
  2. Habitually attacking, harassing, or pressing upon or about.

Then I look up the verse where we get the concept of besetting sin from:

“Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,”‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭12:1‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Then I ask the question: How do we lay aside every weight, and the sin that so easily besets us? And the Holy Spirit directs me back to Psalm 51 and adds 1 John:

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”‭‭I John‬ ‭1:9‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

The entire process is laid out in Psalm 51 by the Holy Spirit as written down by David.

WHEN we truly desire for God’s will to be done in us, for Him to search our inward parts and make known to us the sin that is hindering us, then agree with Him and acknowledge it, and realize that ONLY HE can cleanse us from it and deliver us from it, and that He WANTS to…

THEN we can approach Him in prayer according to His lovingkindness and tender mercies and plead with Him by the blood of Jesus Christ to:

  • Blot out our transgressions
  • Wash us thoroughly from our iniquity
  • Cleanse us from our sin
  • Purge us with hyssop and we will be clean
  • Wash us and we will be whiter than snow
  • Blot out our iniquities
  • Create in us clean hearts
  • Restore to us the joy of His salvation
  • Uphold us by His generous Spirit

WHEN He has answered and done it, THEN:

  • We will teach transgressors (other like us) His ways
  • Sinner will be converted to Him
  • We will sing aloud of His righteousness
  • Our mouths will speak His praise

Repentance or Rebellion

When God allows suffering because of sin, it’s purpose is to bring about self-reflection and repentance, resulting in restoration. Restoration to God and to each other.

In the absence of reflection and repentance, our flesh races toward rebellion, intensifying God’s judgment until we repent and cry out for mercy and deliverance.

“Many times He delivered them; But they rebelled in their counsel, And were brought low for their iniquity. Nevertheless He regarded their affliction, When He heard their cry; And for their sake He remembered His covenant, And relented according to the multitude of His mercies.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭106:43-45‬ ‭NKJV‬

“The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.”
‭‭II Peter‬ ‭3:9‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

“We have sinned with our fathers, We have committed iniquity, We have done wickedly.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭106:6‬ ‭NKJV‬

“And I prayed to the Lord my God, and made confession, and said, “O Lord, great and awesome God, who keeps His covenant and mercy with those who love Him, and with those who keep His commandments, we have sinned and committed iniquity, we have done wickedly and rebelled, even by departing from Your precepts and Your judgments. Neither have we heeded Your servants the prophets, who spoke in Your name to our kings and our princes, to our fathers and all the people of the land. To the Lord our God belong mercy and forgiveness, though we have rebelled against Him. We have not obeyed the voice of the Lord our God, to walk in His laws, which He set before us by His servants the prophets.”
‭‭Daniel‬ ‭9:4-6, 9-10‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

The Time to Prepare is Now

I Received this relevant info in an email from Bradley Antolovich at For Zion’s Sake ministry. It’s exactly what the Holy Spirit has been impressing upon me…

Even though the following words were written nearly 50 years ago by Corrie Ten Boom, I believe they are more prevalent today than when she first penned them in 1974 during the height of the “Jesus Movement”. At that time, many evangelical churches kindly dismissed her as being a mid-post trib heretic because she dared to challenge the pre-trib rapture doctrine that had been sweeping the globe. So here we are, in the pandemic upheavals and uncertainties of 2021. And perhaps NOW it is finally time for us to listen to someone who DID endure the 7 year tribulation of the Nazi’s, and to reconsider our eschatology of rapture escapism and begin to prepare for Matthew 24 just as Yeshua warned us?!? – Bradley at For Zion’s Sake Ministry

Corrie at “The Hiding Place” where Jews hid from the Nazis in her bedroom

“The world is deathly ill. It is dying. The Great Physician has already signed the death certificate. Yet there is still a great work for Christians to do. They are to be streams of living water, channels of mercy to those who are still in the world. It is possible for them to do this because they are overcomers.

My sister, Betsy, and I were in the Nazi concentration camp at Ravensbruck because we committed the crime of loving Jews. Seven hundred of us from Holland, France, Russia, Poland and Belgium were herded into a room built for two hundred. As far as I knew, Betsy and I were the only two representatives of Heaven in that room.

We may have been the Lord’s only representatives in that place of hatred, yet because of our presence there, things changed. Jesus said, “In the world you shall have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” We too, are to be overcomers – bringing the light of Jesus into a world filled with darkness and hate.

Betsy and I, in the concentration camp, prayed that God would heal Betsy who was so weak and sick. “Yes, the Lord will heal me,”, Betsy said with confidence. She died the next day and I could not understand it. They laid her thin body on the concrete floor along with all the other corpses of the women who died that day.

It was hard for me to understand, to believe that God had a purpose for all that. Yet because of Betsy’s death, today I am traveling all over the world telling people about Jesus.

There are some among us teaching there will be no tribulation, that the Christians will be able to escape all this. These are the false teachers that Jesus was warning us to expect in the latter days. Most of them have little knowledge of what is already going on across the world. I have been in countries where the saints are already suffering terrible persecution. In China, the Christians were told, “Don’t worry, before the tribulation comes you will be raptured.” Then came a terrible persecution. Millions of Christians were tortured to death.

Later I heard a Bishop from China say, sadly, “We have failed. We should have made the people strong for persecution rather than telling them Jesus would come first. Tell the people how to be strong in times of persecution, how to stand when the tribulation comes – to stand and not faint.”

I feel I have a divine mandate to go and tell the people of this world that it is possible to be strong in the Lord Jesus Christ. We are in training for the tribulation, but more than sixty percent of the Body of Christ across the world has already entered into the tribulation. There is no way to escape it. We are next.

When I was in the concentration camp, a camp where only twenty percent of the women came out alive, we tried to cheer each other up by saying, “Nothing could be any worse than today.” But we would find the next day was even worse. During this time a Bible verse that I had committed to memory gave me great hope and joy. “If ye be reproached for the name of Christ, happy are ye; for the spirit of glory and of God resteth upon you; on their part evil is spoken of, but on your part He is glorified.” (I Peter 3:14) I found myself saying, “Hallelujah! Because I am suffering, Jesus is glorified!”.

“When I was a little girl,” I said, “I went to my father and said, “Daddy, I am afraid that I will never be strong enough to be a martyr for Jesus Christ.” “Tell me,” said Father, “When you take a train trip to Amsterdam, when do I give you the money for the ticket? Three weeks before” “No, Daddy, you give me the money for the ticket just before we get on the train.” “That is right,” my father said, “and so it is with God’s strength. Our Father in Heaven knows when you will need the strength to be a martyr for Jesus Christ. He will supply all you need – just in time…”

How can we get ready for the persecution? First we need to feed on the word of God, digest it, make it a part of our being. This will mean disciplined Bible study each day as we not only memorize long passages of scripture, but put the principles to work in our lives.

Next we need to develop a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Not just the Jesus of yesterday, the Jesus of History, but the life-changing Jesus of today who is still alive and sitting at the right hand of God.

We must be filled with the Holy Spirit. This is no optional command of the Bible, it is absolutely necessary. Those earthly disciples could never have stood up under the persecution of the Jews and Romans had they not waited for Pentecost. Each of us needs our own personal Pentecost, the baptism of the Holy Spirit. We will never be able to stand in the tribulation without it.

In the coming persecution we must be ready to help each other and encourage each other. But we must not wait until the tribulation comes before starting. The fruit of the Spirit should be the dominant force of every Christian’s life.

Many are fearful of the coming tribulation, they want to run. I, too, am a little bit afraid when I think that after all my eighty years, including the horrible nazi concentration camp, that I might have to go through the tribulation also. But then I read the Bible and I am glad.

When I am weak, then I shall be strong, the Bible says. Betsy and I were prisoners for the Lord, we were so weak, but we got power because the Holy Spirit was on us. That mighty inner strengthening of the Holy Spirit helped us through. No, you will not be strong in yourself when the tribulation comes. Rather, you will be strong in the power of Him who will not forsake you. For seventy-six years I have known the Lord Jesus and not once has He ever left me, or let me down. Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him, for I know that to all who overcome, He shall give the crown of life. Hallelujah!”

Why Do We Pray In Jesus’ Name?

In case you were wondering (or your kids ask)

Why do we say: “In Jesus name I / we pray…” at the end of our prayers? Because, after Jesus rose from the dead, He gave this instruction: “And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything in My name, I will do it.”
‭‭John‬ ‭14:13-14‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

By the way, contrary to what “name-it-and-claim-it” people teach/believe, Jesus wasn’t saying “you can have anything you want if you ask ‘in My name’.” What He meant was that if we ask in accordance with our Heavenly Father’s will, and the mindset of Christ, then He will do it.” So what are some examples?

  • praying for Him to grant someone repentance so they can receive the gospel & be saved
  • praying for wisdom and discernment
  • praying for deliverance from temptation
  • praying for wisdom & boldness to preach the gospel, teach biblical doctrine, correct unbiblical error, etc.
  • praying for healing
  • praying for the right understanding and application of Scripture
  • asking for help to forgive
  • asking for help in time of need
  • asking for help in knowing and doing His will
  • asking for guidance in making a decision

Keep in mind that according to Jesus’ teaching on prayer, it’s more that just asking… it includes acknowledging our Father’s character & attributes, giving thanks for His provisions, being concerned about & petitioning Him in things concerning His kingdom, giving forgiveness, etc.

Where can I go from Your Spirit?

“Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there Your hand shall lead me; and Your right hand shall hold me.” Psalm 139:7-10

Living in Hostile Territory

I recently heard Jamie speak on a Zoom call and what he said resounded with my soul. The LORD has used him to stoke the fire in my spirit. I have since found his teachings on his YouTube page and am not only enjoying them, but am also being convicted by the Holy Spirit and encouraged in ways I couldn’t have imagined. Take a listen to the abridged video on Living in Hostile Territory.